Confession: I have killed SO many plants. SO many! My mother told me I have a brown thumb, but I refused to believe her and continued to spend hours and hours (and dollars and dollars) buying, potting and praying something would live.
I’m pleased to say that after years of, let’s call it “research,” I can finally share some success stories, and thought these might be helpful to my fellow brown thumbs out there. So behold, my favorite, most death-resistant plants.
I affectionately call this Curly Fig for it’s long, windy tendrils. It makes for a lovely potted plant, especially on a shelf, where it can drape itself over the edge. It will also climb, if you wanted some outdoor wall cover. Tip: While the potted plant might not grow much in size, it will in length, and will then require more frequent watering. Mine is happy with twice weekly waterings.
The easiest and by far the most death-resistant of the bunch. Pothos is a vine and looks beautiful as a hanging plant or when shelved up high. It’s been my bar’s wall accessory for years now. (Yes, I said years! Can you believe it?!) Similar to the Creeping Fig, this will require more water as it gets leggier. I would suggest weekly watering when young, and twice weekly when longer. All of these plants love bright, indirect light, but Pothos would probably survive in a closet if you really wanted it to.
I love Arrowhead for its range in colors. Some leaves are deep green with lighter veins, while others are minty with purple veins. This plant has done well in containers without drainage, which many plants require, and most pots intended for indoor use do not offer. If your container doesn’t have drainage, just be conscious of how much water you give your Arrowhead. Mine likes about a cup once a week.
3 ice cubes, once a week. That’s it! Orchids like bright light, but will survive almost anywhere. I always try to pick ones with a few buds that have yet to open, so the flowers will last longer, because I have NEVER been able to get an orchid to bloom twice. I’m not pushing my luck here, okay?
I’m embarrassed to say that the bromeliad mortality rate in my house is quite high, but I assure you that is due in full to prior ignorance. Now, I’ve got this down. Back when I was all brown-thumbed and clueless, I was watering my bromeliads the way I would any other plant. Wrong. You have to pour the water into the “tank” which is essentially in the center of the leaves, at the base of the flower. It’s important to pour small amounts, and rinse out the tank every few days. Anyone else ever had the flower fall off completely? No? Just me? Well it’s because the stem can get too soft if it sits in water for too long. Aren’t you glad I’ve done this research for you?
Fiddle Leaf Fig
I don’t care that every blogger, influencer and recent college grad has one of these. I adore my Fiddle Leaf Fig. With about two cups of water, twice a week, she is tall and happy, about 8 feet high. Make sure to have proper drainage, as they don’t like wet feet, but they don’t like to dry out either. Branches will grow toward the light, so be sure to rotate every month or so if you’re going for a different direction.